The Proclamation in the Wilderness
Updated: Nov 3, 2021
The wilderness has long been used as a metaphor for spiritual renewal and awakening. Moses
was given the 10 Commandments. Multiple Native American tribes have vision quests. Buddha
attained nirvana. You get the point.
Of course, us regular folks never seem to get proclamations from on-high. We never even get a
text message, which is a damn shame. It would have saved me years of wondering what the
hell to do with my depressed and anxious self. Unknowingly, I was in my own proverbial
wilderness, waiting for a sign. Turns out the voice was inside me all the time. I just couldn’t hear
I couldn’t hear my own voice because my wilderness was threatening. It wasn’t the silence. Just
the opposite. My wilderness was a cacophony of opinions, terror, and dread. Making a decision
always came with some kind of punishment, and it made me feel stuck. Someone would be
disappointed, or I was certain I would fuck it up. There was no right answer. I was always in a
The solution came when I began to understand the fear underneath the double bind. Money,
disappointing others, lacking the skill, being behind in life, and trauma responses created chaos
in my mind. Clarifying the fear led me back to my core values. Understanding the trauma behind
why other people’s opinions mattered helped me see that I did not actually care what most
people thought. They were speaking about their lives, not mine. Lack of skill led me to a
Master’s Degree in Psychology and so on.
Understanding the double bind took me to a core tenet of my life coaching style: when we
understand the fear behind “feeling stuck,” we will automatically find our purpose. The
proclamation in the wilderness will become clear. If you want some help understanding your
double binds, please make an appointment or check me out on social media!