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  • Writer's pictureCasey Becker

The Proclamation in the Wilderness

Updated: Nov 3, 2021

The wilderness has long been used as a metaphor for spiritual renewal and awakening. Moses

was given the 10 Commandments. Multiple Native American tribes have vision quests. Buddha

attained nirvana. You get the point.

Of course, us regular folks never seem to get proclamations from on-high. We never even get a

text message, which is a damn shame. It would have saved me years of wondering what the

hell to do with my depressed and anxious self. Unknowingly, I was in my own proverbial

wilderness, waiting for a sign. Turns out the voice was inside me all the time. I just couldn’t hear


I couldn’t hear my own voice because my wilderness was threatening. It wasn’t the silence. Just

the opposite. My wilderness was a cacophony of opinions, terror, and dread. Making a decision

always came with some kind of punishment, and it made me feel stuck. Someone would be

disappointed, or I was certain I would fuck it up. There was no right answer. I was always in a

double bind.

The solution came when I began to understand the fear underneath the double bind. Money,

disappointing others, lacking the skill, being behind in life, and trauma responses created chaos

in my mind. Clarifying the fear led me back to my core values. Understanding the trauma behind

why other people’s opinions mattered helped me see that I did not actually care what most

people thought. They were speaking about their lives, not mine. Lack of skill led me to a

Master’s Degree in Psychology and so on.

Understanding the double bind took me to a core tenet of my life coaching style: when we

understand the fear behind “feeling stuck,” we will automatically find our purpose. The

proclamation in the wilderness will become clear. If you want some help understanding your

double binds, please make an appointment or check me out on social media!


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