Do. Create. Build.
I’m asked all the time, “Where do I start?” It doesn’t matter what we are talking about. Eating,
body image, low self esteem, or starting a business. It’s always the same question, and luckily
it’s always the same answer.
Start with what you love.
There are three basic categories that will help us begin to understand what you love and how to
find the change you are looking for.
What actions are you already taking that you love? For example, if we are working on body
image, we want to know what does your body allow you to do that you love. It’s no surprise that
those of us with body image issues can not just love our bodies. It is just not genuine. However
we can love that our body allows us to do something that is important to us. Your body might
allow you to hug your children or swim in the ocean. So, we start with loving our arms, not
because of the way they look but because of what they DO.
What forms of creativity do you love? Creativity takes so many unique forms. Art. Music.
Cooking. Learning. When we are able to use creativity in the way we love, regardless of talent,
to address something we want to change, we move toward a more profound healing. For
example, if we are looking at your relationship with food and you enjoy cooking (which,
ironically, is very common for people in recovery from eating disorders), we might look at
learning to cook food from an unfamiliar culture.
When I was starting my recovery journey, I had to learn to eat again. My normal foods were still
very triggering, so I left American food behind and started exploring curries. In discovering the
deep history and complex nature of curries, I ate out of curiosity. How was Jamaican curry
different from Indian curry? Pursuing something I loved meant food was no longer the enemy. It
was teaching me about cultures that were thousands of years old.
What do you love that is worth growing? Loving is an active process that allows us to maintain
and build parts of our lives that maintain and sustain our identity. For example, if we are working
on your self esteem, we ask which parts of you do you already love. Most with low self esteem
will say they don’t love anything about themselves, but we know what you love by what you have
built. Whether it’s collecting sports knowledge, watching ESPN every morning, or making new playlists, everyone is already building something they love. We can then use that to strengthen your identity and thus improve your sense of who you are as a human.
Do. Create. Build. This is our starting place. Let’s get going.
If you’d like to talk more or see how I might be able to help, please schedule an appointment or
check me out on social media!