Self care is a term thrown around in coaching, psychology, and commercial circles. It has been
co-opted by the “treat yourself" culture. “Get your nails done or buy something cute,” we are
told. While these things are certainly fun, they minimize what self care can be: An antidote for
vulnerability.
Vulnerabilities are the temporary conditions that make it difficult for us to live and act on our
values. The most well known example of vulnerability is HALT: Hungry. Angry. Loney. Tired. All
of these states alter our ability to emotionally regulate. Hangry is real! It does not make sense to
go ask your boss for a raise when you have not eaten lunch and you only slept a couple of
hours the night before.
Self care is the clinical term for actions you take to reduce vulnerability. Tired? Go to bed early.
Hungry? Have a snack. Part of the work in coaching is to find the actions that are specific to you
and actually successful. Shame reaction? If meditating doesn’t do it for you, let’s try a
kickboxing class. Even if we have to experiment, try new things, or think outside the box, the
answer is out there.
Finding the right self care at the right time can lengthen your life, increase your sense of well
being, and generally make life easier. Are you ready to start figuring out your vulnerabilities and
what self care works for you?
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